Sir Thomas Beecham was an English conductor of great wit. On one occasion he was hired to conduct a stage production which he didn't like. It featured a live horse, and as it was led onto the stage, the horse took a dump, “Gentlemen, that horse is not only an actor, it is also a critic."
Here's my dump (in order - starting with #1):
Gaah gaah gaah – I’m joining in with the universal choir of
seagulls swallowing this band’s soggy chip…hooks, lines and stinkers. A better record than ‘Henge Beat’. That's a massive achievement in itself. The record is more Total Control than I
thought was possible. The sound of a
band eating its own tail and regurgitating a new born. In all its complexity there's an underlying
baffling effortlessness. I can't understand
how this record came to be. The evidence
pointing to this is missing. Nothing
hinted at this elevated echelon. Typical
system.
NUN - NUN (AarghtRecords)
NUN - NUN (AarghtRecords)
‘Evoke The Sleep’ is the song of 2014. Only one other LP barely managed to keep this
album from being the ultimate jam of this year.
Live - no one touched this gang of Aspbergers in Australia. They emerged from their live synthesized murk
and heavily treated vocals, with foghorn bass player Tom Hardisty producing
something dangerously close to being called synth-pop. Epic closer ‘In Blood’ is the only song this
year that makes me feel oddly emotional.
“I’ve just got something in my eye, fuck off!” 2014: The Year Goth
Broke.
"They busted up your brain for an idea. I’m supposed to do the duck walk. You're
supposed to have a little bit of fun. You paid for the gun, I paid for the
baton” drones Al Montford on ‘What a Silly Day (Australia Day)’. A Stooges riff spoofing all over Abbot
policies. A wild dog deaf to the whistle
of its supposed master, wasting no piss putting out raging fires in gated
communities. The Mullum Mullum tunnel
depicted on the cover of the LP was constructed not to upset the local habitat. I don’t know if this was deemed a success by
the Wurundjeri people, but there is something appealing about the juxtaposition
of Autobahn aesthetics, and the native flora phallus decorating the entrance to
the tunnel designed by WA artist Angus James.
This record talks about issues not found in your navel. The last song of the album is called
‘Thatcher’s Dead’. Is there a local
wishlist?
Galactic Empire folk, Darth Vader hat hair – laments of evil
empires crumbling bouncing off hard marble halls once holding splendour and
Collingwood black and white tones. Linda
Perhac and Anne Briggs inspired folk tragedy minimalism. ‘Kumbh Mela’ is one of the most devastatingly
beautiful songs I’ve ever heard, and this album has remained a firm favourite
throughout the year. I’ve got no idea
what Kumbh Mela means, but it sure is no Jar Jar Binks.
I've bumped into the very affable Christian O'Sullivan
(bass/Germs t-shirt) many times throughout the years, but only met Mitch Tolman
(gtr/vox/Nike) when I filled in on drums at a couple of Melbourne shows earlier
this year. "I don't drink"
said the man just before frenetically trying to find a lost necklace after a
show. Add council flat lad-fashion, and
a fixation on Rihanna to their foggy post hardcore chorus pedal driven mix, and
this record bewilders. The song
"Friends" is the worst out of the lot. A muddy goth/grunge base with echo drenched
vitriolic vocals "and all my friends, they're proper scum. Jaded and bitter and faded and twisted"
dragged along at toddler pace. Why is it
then that this is one of my most played songs of 2014? Fucked if I know. There is nothing positive to say about this
record except that it rules. HARD.
Nick Senger (Castings) and Cooper Bowman (Altered States Tapes)
make Australian techno. I've heard
something region specific in the likes of fellow Antipodean electronic outfits
Gardland, Rites Wild, and Angel Eyes.
Heavily saturated drifting synth lines, Roland 303/808 hardware driven
pulses, and occasional Terry Riley-like arpeggios. Intentional or not, there's something about
this that feels Australian. Not so much
reflecting its inhabitants, but more on a topographical level. It's a tape.
It's an EP. Whatever. It's enough of an album as far as I'm concerned. Oh, and the cover looks like a 1980's
paleo-futuristic drawing of Yggdrasil.
Which is nice.
Hidden away Brötzmann and Sharrock live recording from '87,
finally unearthed and released in 2014 (on my birthday, THX). The cover of the album features what looks
like a slab of granite covered with doctor's writing, and sums it up
nicely...70+ minutes of heavy, dense chaos.
I've checked, because it's important to know the length of your
punishment. That's what I want. What the fuck do you want?
I toured Finland in 1994.
We travelled there by ship, and soon after embarking the journey turned
into a nautical leg of the Stereosonic Festival. The galley was filled with gacked up
teenagers mixing vomit with tears. A
bunch of bikers at the back of a Helsinki venue yelled out in broken Swedish
“Go home fatties!”. In some ways I felt
like I was finished with the band after that trip. In 2009 Pan Sonic performed their final gig
in Kyiv, Ukraine. Oksastsus is the
document of this performance. I wonder
if they split up due to their harsh environment, or due to frying every circuit
that they came in contact with. I
imagine a bunch of Putin lackeys on r’n’r from the Donetsk Republic camps knocking back
army hooch and yelling from the back of the Kyiv show in broken Finnish “Not
heavy enough!”. The loss of military
grade electronic status must have been one blow too heavy. A king hit.
The hills are alive with the sounds of...GOATS!? Look, I have no idea why this record appeals
to me as much as it does. I'm a Venom P.
Stinger fan-boy just like any other post-punk tragic, but I didn't even realise
that the latter part of the name of this band was referring to Jim White until
way after the record had set up camp in this list. George Xylouris is a Cretan lute player of
strong Greek musical pedigree. Jim White
is an expressive ADHD style drumming fucking legend. Together they evoke the image of Lester Bangs
wearing a "FREEDOM OR DEATH" shirt on top of rolling green
hills. Big sky, boots covered in equal
parts goat shit and Tote grime.
Jeremy Schmidt almost falls into the retro sci-fi worship
pit with his soundtrack to Panos Cosmatos' cult-flick 'Beyond The Black
Rainbow'. So what!? Does every successful footballer echo the
glory of the greats before him/her?
Goblin and Carpenter's ritualistic soundscapes are ever so present here,
but Jez just gets it right. Not just the
game at hand, but the smoke from ancient players having a ciggie break on the
lines. Sam Newman is chasing you round
an immaculate post-modern centrifuge.
Time to wake up.
